This too shall pass

Thanks all for the kind words but unfortunately I started to bleed last night and my ultrasound today confirmed a miscarriage.

Needless to say I’m heartbroken but this loss is a little easier than my first two because I have this beautiful little miracle baby to cuddle. His laughter will heal my heart.




Update on my Sick Baby

The Urgent Care doctor was right yesterday, it did get worse before it got better.

I ended up calling the nurse line again in the evening because Theodore wasn’t eating much, just a couple ounces after we got back from the doctor’s office and he threw up twice more and had diarrhea.  Poor sweet sick baby!  All in all I had 3 wardrobe changes yesterday and Theodore had 6 (including the two in the middle of the night).

Luckily the nurse was able to give me some good guidance, which included not feeding him any milk for 8 hours after the last time he vomits.  Apparently, baby’s little bodies can’t break down the protein in milk so Pedialyte helps because there is no protein but they stay hydrated.  I wish I would have thought to have some Pedialyte on hand in case he ever got sick but with him being so little I didn’t think he could have it yet.  So I had to drag my projectile vomiting 5 month old out to the store to get it.


Theodore being such a good boy waiting in his high chair for more sips of Pedialyte.

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Not a Great Start to the Weekend…

Today I had kind of a scary morning.  Theodore woke up at 2am so I made him a bottle and went into his room.  He was doing really well sleeping through the night for several months but between having a lighter sleep and transitioning out of the swaddle he’s been waking up several times a week.  I go to pick him up and notice that his sleep sack is wet, not in itself strange since he often spits up.  But his sleeper under it is soaked, as is his sheet and mattress protector.

I give him some milk and get him changed while my husband gets his bed changed and we all go back to bed.  He drank a bunch of milk last night after he ate 3 ounces of sweet potatoes so maybe he just had an upset stomach.  A half an hour later he wakes up crying again.  I go in and he threw up again!  So we get him and his bed  changed again and I check his frontside for signs of an allergic reaction because it was the first time he had sweet potatoes.  I don’t see anything and he seems very tired but in a good mood so we put him back to bed.

When he started stirring this morning I went in to feed him like I normally do and he’s eats normally so I go on to getting him dressed for the day and I notice a terrible rash on his back.  Of course my husband is away this weekend with his friends and I have to decide on my own what to do.  I called to speak to a nurse and we agreed it was a good idea to bring him into Urgent Care.

The doctor said it was very unlikely that the sweet potatoes caused the vomiting or rash but to hold off on giving him anymore for a couple of weeks.  She’s inclined to believe this is the start to a viral illness, as he also had a low grade fever.  He’s been sleepy most of the day and not eating nearly as much as he normally would (and unfortunately he threw up again this afternoon) but all in all he was still in a pretty good mood.  I hope that carries through the weekend as it’s just me taking care of him all weekend.  It’s already awful to feel helpless when you’re baby is sick and there is nothing you can do to make him feel better but it could be a lot worse if he’s fussy and inconsolable all weekend.  The doctor warned me though that it’s likely to get worse before it gets better.  Poor Theodore!

Theodore – Month 5


I’m happy to say Theodore is thriving!  I, on the other hand, have been sick as a dog which is why my 5 month update is almost 2 weeks late.  I’m operating under the presumption of better late than never.

Today when I was dropping Theodore off at daycare I was watching his primary teacher hold him and I thought “OMG, he’s getting tall!”  I realized he was about as big, although not nearly as coordinated or advanced, as the twins in his group so I asked how old they were thinking they were about 9 months…they were actually 13 months old!  I think our “little”boy is going to be tall!


Theodore – 5 months (wearing a 6-9 sleeper already!)

It seems like every month babies learn so much when they are this young.  His hand-eye coordination is much better which makes playing with toys finally fun for him.  He’s getting good at following us with his eyes even if it means turning his head.  This morning I talked around the bed and he peeked over his shoulder to watch me.

We started him on solid foods a little early because he was getting really interested in our food and it seemed as though we were feeding him milk 24/7.  As my husband would say “his milk tank” always seemed empty no matter how much we fed him.  So far he’s had oatmeal, bananas, apples, and pears.

I’m so relieved Theodore has such a sunny disposition.  It’s been a little harder getting him down for bed now that we’ve stopped swaddling and he’s been waking up earlier which has been a challenge because we love our sleep but seriously this kid is happy and smiley about 90% of the time.  He’s so much fun to be around.  I tried to capture his laugh on video but he gets too mesmerized by the phone.

3 Things that Surprised Me When I Became a Mom

Some people know from their childhood or teenage years that they want to a mom someday.  I was not one of those people at all.  I was about 24 years old before I started to concede that yes, someday, I might want to have a baby.

By the time I met my now-husband at 26, I “knew” that I would “for sure” have a family someday.  But being that I wasn’t one of those born-to-be-a-mom women I was really surprised by a few things when I had Theodore.

  1. Everyone will tell you this but I feel like it’s impossible to really wrap your head around it until you are a parent.  The love you feel for your child is so weirdly unconditional.  I love him when he is happy and smiling and giggling.  I love him the same amount when it’s an hour past his bedtime and he won’t sleep and keeps crying – not because he’s soiled or hungry but because he simply wants attention.  If anyone else in your life acted the way a small child does you’d probably drop them like a bad habit, but when it’s your kid, you’re fairly ok with building a life around their whims.
  2. All the stuff they said would come naturally actually does.  You don’t sleep through baby cries and it doesn’t matter how tired you are somehow your body is able to propel itself out of your comfy bed every time your baby needs you.  I was even fighting a terrible infection and had a very large open wound after surgery so when I say I was exhausted, it was a whole new level of exhausted but I never slept through a cry.
  3. Both my husband and I love watching Theodore learn.  I never would have guessed that would be as exciting as it is.  For the past couple months he’s been running his hand over everything.  He likes to feel everything with both the top and bottom of his hand.  It’s like he’s cataloging all the new textures- the cotton of his burp cloth, the fleece of my blanket, the muslin of his swaddles, the textured chair fabric in his room.  You can see it on his face when he’s like “That’s new!”  He received an activity center during one of my baby showers and when we first put him in it at around 4 months he just sat there and stared and would cry to get out after a couple minutes. Now at a little over 5 months, he’s learned to use several of the toys and can entertain himself for quite awhile.  It’s stuff that I know,is interesting to no one but us but it totally makes our day.

First Foods

I was just sitting here thinking how different life is as a mom. I was always the person who saw baby photos on Facebook and kept on scrolling, I might have even hid a few people that got really out of control.

Now I’m the proud mom. I try not to share every moment of life with baby but getting to feed Theodore his first “solid” food seemed exciting enough to share with the world.

Last night we gave Theodore oatmeal for the first time. He was unimpressed with the oatmeal but decided spoons are a fun toy. Our second attempt was this afternoon. He liked the oatmeal but he’s still figuring out the swallowing piece. He definitely ended up with more on him than in him!  Especially since in his eagerness to get more into his mouth as quickly as possible he knocked the little bowl out of my hand.

This photo was taken about two minutes before he drenched his pants.  I learned my lesson though and the next batch I put his tray on the high chair, which managed to catch most of what didn’t end up in his mouth or on his face.

Teddy’s Closet – June 2016

Finding fun, fashionable clothing for little boys isn’t impossible but it does seem to require significantly more digging than finding cute clothes for baby girls.  Even more importantly is finding clothes that fit into our budget.  We now have to pay for child care, diapers, wipes, formula, clothing, toys, etc. and we have to do it all on the same income we were living on pre-baby.  So when I say I’m looking for affordable clothing I don’t mean like $75 for a pair of jeans.  All prices are currently between $7 and $19.99!

Some of these have already made their way home with us (the Carter’s romper, AC/DC onesie, and Oshkosh B’gosh bibs) and others are on my wish list to be fulfilled as our budget allows.

Something tells me the hubby is going to be OK with me buying the Batman t-shirt as well…

A Memorial Day Weekend to Remember

Trust me when I say that my life in general and my relationship with my husband is not always sunshine and roses. But I do believe that we try to put our best foot forward in the name of love.  Some days we fall short of one another’s expectations and other days, like today, we knock it out of the park.

I love my husband every single day even when I’m so frustrated I can barely speak.  But today is a day that my love for my husband is so full it spills out all over.



Adam & Theodore / Memorial Day 2016 / Blakesburg, IA

My sweet husband, who is still healing from a very large blot clot in his leg, drove me and our 4 month old baby, 280 miles from our home in Wisconsin to my parent’s home in Iowa.  I haven’t gotten to spend more than a couple hours with my mom since the week of Theodore’s birth when she stayed at our house to take care of our pets.  We expected to have lots of time bonding with our baby and that she would have lots of time to get to know her new grandson but unfortunately he was not discharged from the NICU until 5 days after she had to go back to work. Continue reading

Theodore – Month 4


My sweet little boy, Theodore, turned 4 months old on Friday!  

I left work early Friday to meet my hubby and baby at the clinic for Theodore’s 4 month immunizations.  Before he had his first full round of immunizations at 2 months I asked the doctor why it was so important to do so many at once.  She gave me some blanket answer about why immunizations, in general, are so important and that he needs to be kept on schedule, etc, etc.  So basically, it seemed the answer was her time is more valuable than ours so they need to be done all at once.   I really like her, she’s a very good pediatrician, but in the future I think I’m going to decide what is best for my son, and that might be spacing them out a bit.

He actually took those 2 month immunizations like a champ.  He just went home and slept it off.  But his 4 month immunizations seemed to bother him a lot more.  It took us 2 1/2 hours to get him down to sleep that night.  He was so fussy and nothing seemed to helped so eventually we gave him a little tylenol and I let him fall asleep in his swing, which I have never done before (except a day-time nap).  My good sleeper woke up at least 4 times during the night.  Twice he was able to put himself back to sleep but twice I had to get up and feed him.  We’ve only had to get up with him two nights in the past 6 weeks or so, not counting Friday night, so we were really like “what is going on kid?!”

I’m sure some of the issue is the dreaded 4 month sleep regression.  I can tell his sleep is definitely changing and overall becoming a little lighter.  He’s not the sleepy newborn that can nap in loud restaurants or sleep through the dogs barking anymore.  I’m glad he’s becoming more of a little person but hey – mama’s gotta sleep!

So month 4…what has the kid been up to?

He has started to have a very definite laugh and he often squeals when he gets excited.  He learned how to splash in the tub, which is the more adorable thing I’ve ever seen but literally leaves me completely soaked!  Hubs and I went on the Maid of the Mist a few years ago (the boat that goes down around Niagara Falls).  I have kept the ponchos all this time because it was a stop on our honeymoon and I might have to drag them out for bath time!

Theodore becomes bored easily and wants to be talked to, held, and played with pretty much all his waking hours.  It’d be annoying if he wasn’t the cutest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.  It makes getting ready for work in the morning very difficult though because he’s taken to waking up a little before I need to get up.

He still likes his swing but also has recently started to enjoy his Finding Nemo bouncer.  Last month he would only let us cradle him to feed him but this month he seems to be enjoying the cuddles much more, which make me a happy mama!  His hand-eye coordination has improved greatly and he’s starting to like to play with toys.

Two weeks ago I got to celebrate my first Mother’s Day with Theodore.  My husband got up and got us donuts and made mimosas.  We went out for lunch that day at one of our favorite new pizza places and then the three of us headed over to a nursery to pick out flowers for my new flower pot.  I got at least one of each of the pansy varieties because they remind of my grandma who always grew them.

We got professional photos taken last weekend in honor of him being 4 months old.  He was absolutely not having it and I’m shocked that the photographer, Rachel, was able to get any good photos from it.  There are definitely a few where he looks annoyed, apprehensive, or on the verge of tears but there were actually quite a few good ones too.  I was still a bit disappointed though because he has been SO smiley lately and we couldn’t get very many smiles out of him during photos.  They just seemed kind of unrepresentative of his personality .

Lastly, little boy has had some skin issues since he was a few weeks old.  It’s pretty normal stuff- dry skin, eczema, and cradle cap.  The doctor gave him a prescription for a cream and we saw huge improvements with just one application which is great!  So we’re keeping that up twice a day for the next few weeks.  I’m so glad it’s making a difference.


Theodore’s Closet – April 2016

These are some of the looks I’ve been swooning over lately.


I’ve been trying to cut back my purchases but some of this stuff is too cute!  The grey Oshkosh B’Gosh sweater is for his 4 month photos in May and the H&M anchor overalls are for his 7 month photos in August.  I’m so excited to have some more professional photos of Theodore taken by the very talented Rachel Manzke Photography.  My little Theodore’s newborn photos are being featured on her site right now!

My goal for May is making it to the H&M store across town to find Theodore the Ramones t-shirt because, well, everyone needs a Ramones shirt.