One Year Old

My little boy turned one last Friday.  It’s so incredible how much children change in the first year.  When we brought him home he was so tiny and helpless and now he’s a fully formed little human with his own thoughts and personality.

He’s so bubbly and happy and sweet and luckily for mom and dad he’s sleeping better through the night as of late.  We transitioned him from formula to whole milk this week and he seems to be doing great with it so we’re pretty happy not to have to buy any more formula.  We’ve been working on transitioning from the bottle to a sippy cup for the last couple of months.  He regularly drinks water out of the cup but takes his milk from a bottle still.  He loves to suck out water and then spit it back out on his shirt, which I hear is pretty common at this age.  Hopefully in the next month or so we can totally kick the bottle.

Last Saturday was his birthday party, it was a “Wild One” themed party based around the book “Where The Wild Things Are.”  His paternal grandma made him a little Funfetti smash cake and a double layer birthday cake.  His maternal grandma and great-grandma came up on his birthday and took us out to lunch and then helped me get ready for the party.  I was really happy that everyone was able to come except my husband’s grandma who wasn’t feeling well enough to come from Indiana.

We bought him a tricycle with a little name plate and a bell.  He loves to ring the bell while we push him around on it.  He also got tons of new toys from our family and a surprisingly good start to a savings account.  I hope we can teach him to be responsible with money and to save for the things he wants, and also help him save for college so that he doesn’t graduate in as much debt as we did.

Theodore has been walking around holding onto furniture and people for about 2 months now and in the last few weeks has been venturing out to taking a few free standing steps.  But right around the time of his birthday he truly became a full fledged walker.  If he can find something to pull himself up on he walks and it doing a really good job with balance.  I feel like a geek but it’s so exciting to see him walk from the front door to the kitchen.

We truly love his boy more than we ever thought possible.  Happy 1st Birthday Theodore!

 

 

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Life Lately

A week after my miscarriage I decided to write about the experience.  At the time I felt like I needed to put all my thoughts and feelings out there to fully process it all.  And then my dog stepped on the keyboard and erased half of it.

So it happened.  It’s over.  It makes me extra terrified to ever get pregnant again and I’m still too emotionally exhausted to rewrite it.

Meanwhile the weather here has finally decided to act like it’s fall so I’m enjoying doing fall stuff with my hubs and baby.  Kiddo enjoyed the apple orchard two weeks ago, football with daddy last weekend, a family photo shoot tomorrow and hopefully soon we’ll go pick out our pumpkins.

What a Rollercoaster Ride!

Between last Thursday and this Monday my beta hcg results only went up one point. As I geared up for a miscarriage, a nurse from my clinic called and asked me to come in for an ultrasound on Tuesday. They knew there was a good chance of not being able to see anything because the general rule is the ultrasound won’t detect a pregnancy with a hcg of less than 1500-2000 and I was just over 500. 

So Tuesday I show up expecting to not see anything at all or possibily an empty sac. But no. There was a little baby measuring 6 weeks 1 day and a teeny tiny flicker. Much to my surprise there is a baby, it is ALIVE and it had a very strong heartbeat at 127bpm. 

I still have a lot of risk factors for miscarriage: the low hormone levels are concerning, the baby had a very tiny sac, and the sac was low in the uterus. But for the time being I was told to precede like its a viable pregnancy and time will tell. 

I’ll have a repeat ultrasound in a week and if the baby is still looking good then they’ll consider the abnormally rising hormones a fluke. 

Hurry Up And Wait

Right now I’m pretty much just in this holding pattern.  My HCG levels continue to go up but just barely.  It’s very evident this is not a viable pregnancy and they keep saying the miscarriage will happen eventually but I want eventually to be now.

With my first pregnancy I was offered a D&C when it became obvious the pregnancy wasn’t viable.  As it turned out it was a very good choice to go that route since they didn’t realize the pregnancy was ectopic until they went in and didn’t find what they expected to in my uterus.

But with this miscarriage I’m just waiting.  Waiting for the terrible pain to signify another ectopic.  Waiting for my HCG levels to go down so the doctors will take some action.  Waiting for the awful weeks of bleeding to begin.

I’m trying to focus on the one tiny bit of silver lining in all this: that we weren’t planning this pregnancy.  We weren’t trying.  No medications, no timing sex, no ovulation predictor tests etc.  So maybe someday, if I’m crazy enough to want to try this again, we hopefully won’t have to worry about my uterus being broken anymore.

Rough Day

Given that my first pregnancy was ectopic and my second was a twin pregnancy where one of the twins miscarried, I have been very cautious. After my positive pregnancy test I called my doctor and asked for beta hcgs which is a quantitative pregnancy test. The

My first test was Friday afternoon and was 356 which was lower than what they would expect given the date of my last period. I wasn’t that concerned because the date was an approximation and whenever I ovulated on Clomid it was really late, like CD22-CD24. So I could easily be a week or more off from “normal.”

What is concerning is that my follow up beta from Sunday morning was only 407. A healthy pregnancy typically doubles every 48-72 hours but mine only raised 14%. I have a repeat to take either Thursday or Friday but it’s not looking like a viable pregnancy.

My miracle pregnancy is no miracle after all. More heartbreak. You’d think I’d get used to it by now but no. It’s devestating every time. Now I’m just praying for a normal miscarriage and not another ectopic. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost my other Fallopian tube.

In the immortal words of Britney Spears…

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Pretty much since the minute Theodore stepped into his daycare at 12 weeks, our house has been in a constant state of sickness.  After several days of taking cold medicine and waiting for AF to show up I started thinking back.  Hasn’t it been awhile since I’ve had my period?

Husband thinks no.  It wasn’t that long ago.  So a few more days go by and I start to feel some back pain which I normally do the day before AF shows up.  But the next day, nothing happens. Continue reading

Is this the 90’s?


I saw this meme the other day and thought it was funny because it seemed as though everyone was talking about Pokemon Go and I was super out of the loop. After all I have a (almost) 6 month old baby and a full-time job. I’m busy!  Some days I’m lucky if I have time to shower.

I never got into the cards when I was a kid, I think I thought them too boyish at the time so I really didn’t know anything about what the game entailed but my husband came home Friday with Pokemon Go downloaded which got me curious… Continue reading

Update on my Sick Baby

The Urgent Care doctor was right yesterday, it did get worse before it got better.

I ended up calling the nurse line again in the evening because Theodore wasn’t eating much, just a couple ounces after we got back from the doctor’s office and he threw up twice more and had diarrhea.  Poor sweet sick baby!  All in all I had 3 wardrobe changes yesterday and Theodore had 6 (including the two in the middle of the night).

Luckily the nurse was able to give me some good guidance, which included not feeding him any milk for 8 hours after the last time he vomits.  Apparently, baby’s little bodies can’t break down the protein in milk so Pedialyte helps because there is no protein but they stay hydrated.  I wish I would have thought to have some Pedialyte on hand in case he ever got sick but with him being so little I didn’t think he could have it yet.  So I had to drag my projectile vomiting 5 month old out to the store to get it.

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Theodore being such a good boy waiting in his high chair for more sips of Pedialyte.

Continue reading

Not a Great Start to the Weekend…

Today I had kind of a scary morning.  Theodore woke up at 2am so I made him a bottle and went into his room.  He was doing really well sleeping through the night for several months but between having a lighter sleep and transitioning out of the swaddle he’s been waking up several times a week.  I go to pick him up and notice that his sleep sack is wet, not in itself strange since he often spits up.  But his sleeper under it is soaked, as is his sheet and mattress protector.

I give him some milk and get him changed while my husband gets his bed changed and we all go back to bed.  He drank a bunch of milk last night after he ate 3 ounces of sweet potatoes so maybe he just had an upset stomach.  A half an hour later he wakes up crying again.  I go in and he threw up again!  So we get him and his bed  changed again and I check his frontside for signs of an allergic reaction because it was the first time he had sweet potatoes.  I don’t see anything and he seems very tired but in a good mood so we put him back to bed.

When he started stirring this morning I went in to feed him like I normally do and he’s eats normally so I go on to getting him dressed for the day and I notice a terrible rash on his back.  Of course my husband is away this weekend with his friends and I have to decide on my own what to do.  I called to speak to a nurse and we agreed it was a good idea to bring him into Urgent Care.

The doctor said it was very unlikely that the sweet potatoes caused the vomiting or rash but to hold off on giving him anymore for a couple of weeks.  She’s inclined to believe this is the start to a viral illness, as he also had a low grade fever.  He’s been sleepy most of the day and not eating nearly as much as he normally would (and unfortunately he threw up again this afternoon) but all in all he was still in a pretty good mood.  I hope that carries through the weekend as it’s just me taking care of him all weekend.  It’s already awful to feel helpless when you’re baby is sick and there is nothing you can do to make him feel better but it could be a lot worse if he’s fussy and inconsolable all weekend.  The doctor warned me though that it’s likely to get worse before it gets better.  Poor Theodore!