infertility

Sunday Night Musings (a ttc update)

Today is day #5 of my third Clomid cycle ttc baby #2.  My 7th cycle ttc baby #2 overall.  So obviously last month was a total fail.  On the upside, my cycle seems like it was a pretty normal cycle vs my usual non-ovulatory light cycles.  So perhaps my body has been priming itself to get the uterus ready for implantation?  Obviously, I’m just speculating but it feels that way.  Plus even a health couple only has like a 20% chance of conceiving every month so I guess I can’t really expect to get pregnant every time I take Clomid.

Lately I just keep trying to remind myself that I’ve already done the “impossible.”  I beat infertility, I’m a mom.  I’d love to give my son a sibling but if I can’t I’ll be able to forgive myself.  Sometimes I think it would just be better to move on from ttc, that I’d be a happier person.  Having such an undecided future drives me so crazy.

Or maybe this just isn’t how our family is supposed to grow.  I recently got into contact with another foster care agency that has been very responsive and has done an excellent job answering my questions.  I think we are going to go to their information session in April.  Unfortunately we still haven’t found our new home yet and that is a really important step in becoming a foster parent because of the home study.

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