Today is day #5 of my third Clomid cycle ttc baby #2. My 7th cycle ttc baby #2 overall. So obviously last month was a total fail. On the upside, my cycle seems like it was a pretty normal cycle vs my usual non-ovulatory light cycles. So perhaps my body has been priming itself to get the uterus ready for implantation? Obviously, I’m just speculating but it feels that way. Plus even a health couple only has like a 20% chance of conceiving every month so I guess I can’t really expect to get pregnant every time I take Clomid.
Lately I just keep trying to remind myself that I’ve already done the “impossible.” I beat infertility, I’m a mom. I’d love to give my son a sibling but if I can’t I’ll be able to forgive myself. Sometimes I think it would just be better to move on from ttc, that I’d be a happier person. Having such an undecided future drives me so crazy.
Or maybe this just isn’t how our family is supposed to grow. I recently got into contact with another foster care agency that has been very responsive and has done an excellent job answering my questions. I think we are going to go to their information session in April. Unfortunately we still haven’t found our new home yet and that is a really important step in becoming a foster parent because of the home study.