Some people know from their childhood or teenage years that they want to a mom someday. I was not one of those people at all. I was about 24 years old before I started to concede that yes, someday, I might want to have a baby.
By the time I met my now-husband at 26, I “knew” that I would “for sure” have a family someday. But being that I wasn’t one of those born-to-be-a-mom women I was really surprised by a few things when I had Theodore.
- Everyone will tell you this but I feel like it’s impossible to really wrap your head around it until you are a parent. The love you feel for your child is so weirdly unconditional. I love him when he is happy and smiling and giggling. I love him the same amount when it’s an hour past his bedtime and he won’t sleep and keeps crying – not because he’s soiled or hungry but because he simply wants attention. If anyone else in your life acted the way a small child does you’d probably drop them like a bad habit, but when it’s your kid, you’re fairly ok with building a life around their whims.
- All the stuff they said would come naturally actually does. You don’t sleep through baby cries and it doesn’t matter how tired you are somehow your body is able to propel itself out of your comfy bed every time your baby needs you. I was even fighting a terrible infection and had a very large open wound after surgery so when I say I was exhausted, it was a whole new level of exhausted but I never slept through a cry.
- Both my husband and I love watching Theodore learn. I never would have guessed that would be as exciting as it is. For the past couple months he’s been running his hand over everything. He likes to feel everything with both the top and bottom of his hand. It’s like he’s cataloging all the new textures- the cotton of his burp cloth, the fleece of my blanket, the muslin of his swaddles, the textured chair fabric in his room. You can see it on his face when he’s like “That’s new!” He received an activity center during one of my baby showers and when we first put him in it at around 4 months he just sat there and stared and would cry to get out after a couple minutes. Now at a little over 5 months, he’s learned to use several of the toys and can entertain himself for quite awhile. It’s stuff that I know,is interesting to no one but us but it totally makes our day.