Baby, Marriage

The Important Things

I’ll admit it.  I totally have anxiety about spending time away from my baby.

Our financial situation necessitated me going back to work after Theodore’s birth.  We tried really hard to figure out a way from me to stay home with Theodore but it always came back to the fact that life would just be a little too tight without a second income.

Luckily we were able to find a great daycare.  The two ladies that run the baby room are sisters and have been working at this same daycare center for 30 years.  They are so sweet and completely capable which has made being away from my baby so many hours every week much easier for me.  I definitely feel like he’s being well taken care of when I’m away from him.

But being away from him for work is enough.  It’s more than enough.

When I get home I want to spend every minute with him.  I don’t want to go to a movie, or out to dinner, or any other sort of date without him.  I have enough time without him as it is.  My husband on the other hand is perfectly ok with the idea of going out on a date in the middle of the week and not spending any real time with him for almost 24 hours.  He’s perfectly ok with the idea of taking a full day of our weekend together to drive to Chicago for a concert.

Generally, I’m a “to each their own” kind of person but I find this really hurtful.  We get so little time together as a family and our son is only going to be little for such a short period of time.  Shouldn’t we savor these moments together?

I try really hard to be alright with my husband wanting to do things that don’t include the baby or me and the baby, but it’s hard.  It’s especially difficult when I’m put down for not wanting to give up my very precious, very limited time with my son.  When I try to express how I feel I get things like “Yeah, lets just never go anywhere until he’s like 15.”

My husband “penciled in” two long weekend-away fishing trips with his buddies this year – one in June and one in August.  I expressed a little concern about June because he’s only 4 months old and really requires A LOT of attention.  I’m perfectly capable of caring for him but entertaining him for three days by myself is a completely other story.  So we agreed August was feasible but June just really wasn’t good timing.  Now all of a sudden there is another group camping trip in July in addition to the day away for the concert.

I’m really trying to be understanding but taking into consideration we really only have about 8 days a month with our baby, to spend 3 away from him is unacceptable.  First, I just don’t want to be away from him and secondly, even I did want to I wouldn’t.  He loves us, he wants to be with us, and he needs his parents to be active and present in his life.

I don’t mean to imply my husband is a bad father because he’s really quite a good dad but we’re just so fundamentally different when it comes to this time together issue.  He simply does not NEED it the same way I do.  Maybe this will become less of a hot-button issue over time?


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