Baby, infertility

No One Knows What The Future Holds

Today is CD15 of my second round of Clomid.  I really thought last month was going to be THE month and when it wasn’t I was really crushed.  AF arrived when I was at work and it was all I could do to make it through the day without crying.  I was home all of about 5 seconds before I burst into tears.

It’s been really hard this month to be hopeful and I’ve been busy trying to make contingency plans.  If the Clomid is unsuccessful in the next 8 weeks or so then we are going to have to make some really tough decisions.

I’m feeling very torn between going to the next step in infertility treatments and meeting with a fertility specialist or committing to going the adoption route.  Unfortunately, once we make that decision we are pretty much committed to it as we don’t have the funds for either of them and definitely will not be able to afford them both if one does not work out.

I was never 100% committed to the idea of needing a biological child and feel like I would be very happy with an adopted child but the process is very time consuming and extremely expensive.  I worry that we’ll invest all our money in a birth mom that decides to keep her child and then that is it.  Out of money, no baby.

I think our first step after Clomid is going to be meeting with the fertility specialist and getting their take on what the next step in infertility treatment would be.  Once we know what the doctor would recommend and the costs involved (unfortunately not covered by insurance) we can make a more educated decision.

I’ve also made arrangements to learn more about fostering.  Adoption from foster care might be an option for us since the costs are much lower, and in some cases free!  However, foster care’s primary goal is to reunite all children they can with their biological parents so it can take years before the courts decide to end parental rights and make the children available for adoption.  I’m not convinced I have the constitution to raise a child that I might not be able to keep.  I don’t think I can handle any more heartbreak.

I’d love to hear from anyone who moved on from Clomid and what they did next.


4 thoughts on “No One Knows What The Future Holds”

  1. I am hopeful this month will work out for you. I also just finished my second month of clomid and can empathize with how much more disappointed I felt when my period showed up. We knew before pursuing clomid that the more intensive fertility treatments (IVF) would not be for us so we simultaneously pursued a domestic adoption application. Ultimately, only you and your partner can decide on what the right path for you is. It hurts my heart that finances are often the primary reason people cannot choose the path they feel most comfortable with. Sending you loads of positive thoughts.

    1. Thank you! I wish you the best of luck with your treatments and the adoption process. It’s so unfortunate that the adoption process is so hard for the average person to navigate without help (agencies and such) and $16,000 placement fees on top of everything else are unfortunately not in our budget 😦

  2. This is my first cycle post Clomid. Clomid did nothing for me…and it was so frustrating! We met with a specialist and feel so much better! Getting to the bottom of the problem was worth going on its own but now I am on metformin and another clomid like-but not drug. I am being monitored and it just feels more hopeful. Maybe just make the appointment to see what their take is before you commit either way. Good luck!

    1. Thanks for advice. I think we will meet with an infertility specialist but I just read some pretty bad reviews for the one our insurance contracts with 😦 I guess we have very minimal coverage anyway so if we have to go somewhere else it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I guess I’m lucky we have two within 30 minutes of where I live.

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