Today is CD15 of my second round of Clomid. I really thought last month was going to be THE month and when it wasn’t I was really crushed. AF arrived when I was at work and it was all I could do to make it through the day without crying. I was home all of about 5 seconds before I burst into tears.
It’s been really hard this month to be hopeful and I’ve been busy trying to make contingency plans. If the Clomid is unsuccessful in the next 8 weeks or so then we are going to have to make some really tough decisions.
I’m feeling very torn between going to the next step in infertility treatments and meeting with a fertility specialist or committing to going the adoption route. Unfortunately, once we make that decision we are pretty much committed to it as we don’t have the funds for either of them and definitely will not be able to afford them both if one does not work out.
I was never 100% committed to the idea of needing a biological child and feel like I would be very happy with an adopted child but the process is very time consuming and extremely expensive. I worry that we’ll invest all our money in a birth mom that decides to keep her child and then that is it. Out of money, no baby.
I think our first step after Clomid is going to be meeting with the fertility specialist and getting their take on what the next step in infertility treatment would be. Once we know what the doctor would recommend and the costs involved (unfortunately not covered by insurance) we can make a more educated decision.
I’ve also made arrangements to learn more about fostering. Adoption from foster care might be an option for us since the costs are much lower, and in some cases free! However, foster care’s primary goal is to reunite all children they can with their biological parents so it can take years before the courts decide to end parental rights and make the children available for adoption. I’m not convinced I have the constitution to raise a child that I might not be able to keep. I don’t think I can handle any more heartbreak.
I’d love to hear from anyone who moved on from Clomid and what they did next.