Throughout this journey with infertility I’ve found it’s incredibly easy to get trapped in your own little pity party. Let’s be honest, anyone struggling with infertility has been dealt a crap hand in life. When I was a little girl I wasn’t sitting around thinking “Ooo someday I’ll meet my Prince Charming and we’ll get married on a beach and then we’ll spend the next several years doing anything and everything we can to have a baby including invasive tests, fertility medications that make me sick (and cranky) and spend thousands of dollars doing it!”
Sometimes I really have to reel it in and remind myself of the good things going on in my life. I have a supportive husband that I love more than anything, two adorable fur-kids, and a job that I enjoy. I have a nice home, albeit we are rapidly outgrowing it, and a great family. I have a lot of things to be thankful for.
Today I was thinking about how our life would be if we would have conceived right away. While I would love to be cuddling my baby right now instead of writing this, I can look back and say, last year was the toughest year I’ve ever had by far. But my husband and I are closer because of it. I feel like our marriage has been tested and has come out stronger because of it.
I feel more secure in our relationship now than I did 6 months or a year ago. My husband could have taken the easy road and dipped out when we found out I had fertility issues. Found someone else that could easily give him the family he wanted and always assumed he would have. Instead he stood my side. We are a team, a family, and this is something we are going to go through together.
We are also in a much better position financially than we were a year and half ago when we started preparing for a baby. I worked hard all last year to exceed my goals at work and get a higher raise and my husband was also recently promoted in his job.
Last week we officially paid off our last credit card which I am beyond excited about! It took us over two years of chipping away at the debt (and a good portion of our tax return both years) but we got it paid off and have a plan for keeping it paid off. We are also a year closer to having our vehicles paid off, man it will be nice when those suckers are done!
It was also my goal to save enough money for the baby’s first year which I am happy to say we finally managed to do. We’ll probably have to dip into this money at least a little for fertility treatments if our next couple rounds of Clomid are unsuccessful but I am very proud of what we have been able to accomplish together in the last year.
So for the time-being I am going to try to be happy and thankful for the things that I DO have and try to have faith that in the end things will work out the way they are suppose to.