Baby, infertility, Marriage

Not so Lazy Days


I love lazy days, I mean really and truly adore them.  My version of a wonderful weekend is sleeping in as late as possible and just spending the day in bed cuddling with my dogs and my husband.  Reading, watching tv, talking, cuddling, kissing, napping…all wonderful things that are made better by doing it in bed.  My husband, on the other hand, is the polar opposite. Sure he likes all the aforementioned things, except his idea of reading is flipping through a Cabela’s catalog, but he likes it for about an hour.  Then it’s go time.

Some days I despise the fact that he needs to be on the go all the time and other days, like this weekend, it is my saving grace.

This weekend we took our 6 month old puppy camping for the first time ever.  Weeks ago when we made these reservations I was excited but the closer we got to the actual date the more I remembered how much work camping and, in particular, packing for camping is.  He convinced me that we needed to go, that it would be a fun weekend, and despite my better judgement I went along with him.

We spent our days chasing after the dogs, untangling their leads, cooking, reading, exploring two Wisconsin State Parks (Roche-a-Cri and Buckhorn) and just sitting around the fire relaxing.  It took almost the entire weekend for me to realize it is Father’s Day weekend.  I was so thankful that he kept me busy this weekend so I could not sit around and dwell.

It’s a really awful feeling to not be able to give my husband a child, at least not yet.  It makes me feel like a failure.  But my husband is amazing.  He is kind and patient and has never once placed any blame on me, even though we know that at a minimum there is definitely a fertility issue on my end, as I am not ovulating on my own.  So even though he doesn’t have a human baby, I am so thankful to have him in my life and wish him a  Happy Father’s Day as he is very much a father to our dogs and will be an amazing father to our children whenever we are blessed with them.




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