Not so Lazy Days

camping

I love lazy days, I mean really and truly adore them.  My version of a wonderful weekend is sleeping in as late as possible and just spending the day in bed cuddling with my dogs and my husband.  Reading, watching tv, talking, cuddling, kissing, napping…all wonderful things that are made better by doing it in bed.  My husband, on the other hand, is the polar opposite. Sure he likes all the aforementioned things, except his idea of reading is flipping through a Cabela’s catalog, but he likes it for about an hour.  Then it’s go time.

Some days I despise the fact that he needs to be on the go all the time and other days, like this weekend, it is my saving grace.

This weekend we took our 6 month old puppy camping for the first time ever.  Weeks ago when we made these reservations I was excited but the closer we got to the actual date the more I remembered how much work camping and, in particular, packing for camping is.  He convinced me that we needed to go, that it would be a fun weekend, and despite my better judgement I went along with him.

We spent our days chasing after the dogs, untangling their leads, cooking, reading, exploring two Wisconsin State Parks (Roche-a-Cri and Buckhorn) and just sitting around the fire relaxing.  It took almost the entire weekend for me to realize it is Father’s Day weekend.  I was so thankful that he kept me busy this weekend so I could not sit around and dwell.

It’s a really awful feeling to not be able to give my husband a child, at least not yet.  It makes me feel like a failure.  But my husband is amazing.  He is kind and patient and has never once placed any blame on me, even though we know that at a minimum there is definitely a fertility issue on my end, as I am not ovulating on my own.  So even though he doesn’t have a human baby, I am so thankful to have him in my life and wish him a  Happy Father’s Day as he is very much a father to our dogs and will be an amazing father to our children whenever we are blessed with them.

 

 

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Timing is Everything

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Even if the thing you are right about is kind of devastating, it’s still a good feeling to be right.

Two months ago I went to my primary care physician with the suspicion that I am not ovulating.  For seven months we have been trying to conceive with no success.  I went in expecting my doctor to tell me to come back in 5 months when we had tried to conceive for a full year, as is recommended with women my age.  But instead she was very open to running some blood work for me.

It was total luck of the draw that the day I visited my doctor was CD3 (or day 3 of my cycle).  It just so happens that this is the day doctors use as a baseline to compare your hormone levels and such to what is “normal.”  Of course my doctor had no idea how to interpret the tests so I had to wait until the following month when I had an OB/GYN appointment to find out the results.

Luckily, my tests came back in the normal range and my ovarian reserve was very good.  I didn’t even know there was a way of predicting how many eggs you have left, how could I have not known this?  Medicine is becoming more and more incredible.

Regardless of my good test results the OB/GYN agreed with me that I was not ovulating and put me on the drug Clomid to induce ovulation.  Clomid is either started on day 3 or day 5 of your cycle and I had the good fortune to meet with him on day 4 so I didn’t have to wait another full month knowing that it would end without a pregnancy.

Yesterday I took the last of my Clomid pills and was very lucky to not have any side effects from them.  This is the first cycle in months I am actually excited about trying.  I am hopeful again that we will (eventually) become parents.  My fingers are crossed that we get one of the more common “side effects” from Clomid: multiples!  It’s incredible to think that after all this stress and drama trying to conceive one child we could possible end up with two!