What I should have added to my bucket list…

Go a whole year without attending a wedding (or any wedding festivities for that matter).  I’m no hater but weddings are only important to the people in them and their immediate families and sometimes not even them.

I only have about three hobbies: reading, baking, and camping.  My problem is I work, on average, two weekends every month and all these wedding festivities are cutting into the little time I have to enjoy my hobbies.

As someone that is barely out of the newlywed stage (married 14 months) I probably shouldn’t be complaining but here is why I feel I’m entitled to:  only close friends and family were invited to my bridal shower and I had exactly 10 guests at my wedding.  Granted there are a few more people I would have loved to have at my wedding that were unable to travel for it.

So far I have two weddings to go to this spring: one for my younger brother and one for one of my first cousin.  Both weddings I knew about in 2013 and I vowed for those to be the only two weddings I attend in 2014.  I fully realize this all makes me sound like a little bit of a Grinch.

I think my real problem with weddings runs a little deeper.  First, it’s so insane to spend $20,000+ on a single day.  But then again, many people expect mommy and/or daddy to foot that bill.  So there is no motivation to only invite those you are close to, instead they invite just about everyone they’ve ever met because hey, there’s more gifts!  I seriously went to a wedding last year where the bride and groom registered for all kinds of extremely expensive crap and just kept having bridal showers until most of it was purchased.  By the time the wedding arrived there was almost nothing to choose from on their registry.

Weddings become all about the gifts, the colors, the flowers, the centerpieces, and less and less about the love of the two people getting married.  No wonder the divorce rate is hovering around 50%.  All I wanted was a pretty dress (I’m a lady after all) and the smiling face of my groom.  We didn’t even have a reception after we returned from our destination wedding and there was a simple reason for that: I didn’t get married for the gifts.  Sure, we did have some very generous friends and family members that wanted to celebrate our union with gifts and, trust me, they were very much appreciated but in no way expected.

My goal was and always will be to have a marriage more beautiful than my wedding.  Brides don’t loose sight of what’s important and make sure it’s the marriage you want because that is what you are left with after the wedding.


2 thoughts on “What I should have added to my bucket list…”

  1. My man and I want a destination wedding too! We’re not engaged yet, but were set on 1-1-15 in Hawaii. Where was yours? We have the SAME thoughts. $20k on one day is insane. We’re very happy to have just close family attend.

    1. We went to Las Vegas for our first anniversary so we decided to go back there to get married. I really had wanted Jamaica (love beach weddings!) but my in-laws did not want to travel there and we were probably pushing it for everyone to get their passports in time. It wasn’t a cheesy Vegas wedding though! We got married at a very nice chapel and we stayed at the Bellagio which is where we had our reception dinner. The only thing I’ll warn you about is it is stressful to travel with your wedding dress it was hard leaving it out of my sight and no matter what don’t check it.

      Hawaii sounds wonderful! We had friends that eloped in Hawaii about 10 months before we got married and all their photos are beautiful. My husband and I are planning to spend our 5 year anniversary in Hawaii. Can’t wait!

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